save_bunnies

save_bunnies @ 2008-01-25T20:27:00

2008-01-10T01:27:44Z

meh. i suck. i don't even bother with the computer anymore..

save_bunnies @ 2008-01-03T14:59:00

2008-01-03T20:02:07Z

ahh! so i ate tons because i was hanging out with a friend and she's like "what? are you anorexic?!" and wouldnt leave me alone until i like ate her out of house and home. it was crazy. So now i feel sick and ughhh, and now ben wants to take me out to dinner!!!!!! erghhhhhhhh. the world hates me. it's official; a conspiracy, i know it. :-( i guess try again tomorrow... :-\

save_bunnies @ 2008-01-02T00:29:00

2008-01-02T05:30:11Z

omg. i'm so happy to be back!

save_bunnies @ 2007-12-29T22:36:00

2007-12-30T03:37:39Z

i hate myself. hat ehate hate. fat fat fat. kill kill kill..

save_bunnies @ 2007-12-27T13:45:00

2007-12-27T18:45:59Z

eghhh i stil have like 30 pounds to lose!!!! this is taking too long. i just want it off!!!! >.O

save_bunnies @ 2007-12-27T11:46:00

2007-12-27T16:47:19Z

i don't know if i should do the gm diet.... i'm scared....

save_bunnies @ 2007-12-25T00:01:00

2007-12-25T05:01:54Z

SANTA'S COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yay!

save_bunnies @ 2007-12-23T21:22:00

2007-12-24T02:29:38Z

so tomorrow after work, if there's nothing going on at my house, i will begin to make a crazy thinspo book! with amazing pics, quotes, and guidelines, etc. Doing this will occupy for for several days, i'm sure, and will hopefully keep me motivated!
Today i purged. i'm blaming in on the lack on thinspo veiwing, but there is no real excuse; only that i'm a fatass who can't control herself at all. i hate me, i do this all the time. i only do well when fasting, but i'm scared my metabollism will diminish and make me gain tons from fasting! :-( urgh! i hate being fat..

save_bunnies @ 2007-12-23T00:20:00

2007-12-23T05:20:48Z

i'm a pig..

Oink..

:-(

save_bunnies @ 2007-12-22T10:53:00

2007-12-22T15:57:37Z

last day of my fast! :-) yay! then tomorrow i start abcing it. i kind of don't want to though. I've been doing pretty good fasting, i don't want to just cram 500 cals down my throat. plus, it'll probably make me gain more weight or something! ah. maybe i stick on liquids for a while, like tomato juice! less sugar than regular juice :-) i guess i'll get to the store! :-)

save_bunnies @ 2007-12-22T01:10:00

2007-12-22T06:11:11Z

i need to see progress before i kill someone! ERGH!

save_bunnies @ 2007-12-22T00:00:00

2007-12-22T05:03:20Z

I need to feel a peice of thin. I think it would help me stay motivated... i need to feel thin, even for just one second; then i could know what i'm reaching for. I never feel thin. I have nothing to reach for, no feeling that i need to get back. nothing. i'm just a tub of lard, all the fucking time. i feel like nothings ever going to change and it's stressing the hell out of me. This is stupid! :-(

save_bunnies @ 2007-12-21T09:46:00

2007-12-21T14:48:48Z

So i um.... SUCK? Yeah. that's it. I do suck. Bread.. Jesus fucking homo?! what was i thinkiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!?!?! i better be able to fast today just fine! i need to stop finding excuses, get my workout on, and get goddamn skinny! or something.. h a

save_bunnies @ 2007-12-20T22:51:00

2007-12-21T04:02:27Z

another successful day on my fast :-) i'm pleased with that. but it's nighttime, which means i'm hungry, because that's when i'm hungry! two more days, then i start my abcs!!! :-D i need a good gym, and no asthma!! haha. well yeah. and shoveling wasn't so bad. and i got help from my neighbor. he looks like a skinny santa...

ergh!

2007-12-20T18:40:40Z

Ergh! i just found out that i have work today! i did't think i went back in until tomorrow! i hate work. it better be crazy dead. It's snowing like crazy which means i have to shovel my ass out of the drive way, and i hate snow! i hate the cold, i hate that it's wet, i hate how it crunches under my feet! ugh!!!!!!! i'm going to crash and die on the way down there. i know it. i know it! my car hates the snow too! well at least shoveling is good excercise? ha. hope i can keep that in mind! still on my fast and doing good! :-D

oh my dear!

2007-12-20T02:21:12Z

ugh! this is so hard! i wish i had an ana friend at my side, and we could distract each other!!! I don't know why fasting is so hard for me! i really don't. am i that pathedic? jesus! only a few more hours left of today, then hopefully tomorrow will be easier! i hope.. If i sleep soon the night will pass faster! i wish i could go to sleep right now. i wish i were tired! i'm thinking thin, thinking thin, thing thin! three more days!

save_bunnies @ 2007-12-19T12:56:00

2007-12-19T18:06:10Z

New day. Another chance to try again. I need to keep focused. Although day is extremely easy. I can go places and do things to distract me; nighttime, however, i see Ben, and we lay around. Of course, he is trying to gain weight, so he is always eating, forcing eating on me too. Everytime I feel that i'm doing good, it makes me think of food, and i go retreive some. I blame that on my parents, rewarding me with FOOD on good behaviour. I'll never do that to my children. It's awful. I need motavation, someone to talk to, to help motavate me. There is nobody there. The forums, never a response from anyone. I'm pathedic enough that i need help to do this! i'm fasting for at least 3 days. Water and tea. I'm shooting for 5 days. I want to see Larissa today, but she likes to give me attitude about me not eating. She notices. She's the only one really. Mom freaks out when i lose weight, but i think that just has to do with herself. I think she gets jealous because she can't lose her belly, no matter how much she tries. So I hope my fast works!! wish me luck computer!

Wow.

2007-12-19T05:34:50Z

Wow. I have'nt used a live journal for years. Literally. I have no one to read anything. Nobody needs to read this anyhow. It's unneccessary. I'm sad. It's winter. I suppose that's why. Every winter it's the same, I feel like it will never end, and it will be the death of me. It will drive me so crazy i will force myself into some freak "accident" and winter will continue, and I won't. It wins. In my head, it wins every year. It's a controlling season, it likes to play mind games, and it's unfair, I don't agree with it. I hate you winter, you make me hate me.